Have to test our packing this weekend, to make sure we can fit 7 dresses, 5 pairs of high-heeled shoes, hair-dryer, GHD tongs, a mirror, 4 pairs of Jeans, 10 pairs of knickers and ten pairs of socks, enough toiletries to open a new branch of Boots, and 12 T-shirts on the bike – and that is just for Jelena. I think I might be allowed to take along one change of undies.

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So those of you who know me well are probably aware that a lot of folk call me Big Bad Brad. However, for this bit of my life, the new BBB stands for Brad, his Bird, and the Bandit. That is because all three of us are on now well on our way to Monaco, and we will be spending a lot of time together over the next ten days. After months of planning and purchasing and patience (maybe not the last one for the bird), we set off this evening from a very rainy Halifax just after 6 pm.

I worked today, but Lena had taken Tuesday and Wednesday off, to prepare for the holiday. I got home just before 5, and we finalized our packing, loaded up the bikes and ate the last bits of fresh food in the fridge. It was really pissing down quite hard, just the perfect start to a summer vacation. Our bike gear is pretty good, but even so the prospect of a four hour ride in the pouring rain is not significantly attractive.

We have managed to fill every corner of each pannier that we have, so we have brought enough clothing and equipment for a small army. We decided not to plan on doing any washing on the way, so have ten days worth of clothes, socks, undies and deodorant (plenty of that one).

While planning our trip, having booked the time off from work, we realized that of we set of on the eve before our holiday started, we would gain most of a day on the continent. We found an offer online of a hotel room for 9 quid, near Gatwick, so we booked it there and then. I am now in that very hotel room, but without a wifi signal so I will type this up but post it next time we get near a signal.

We rode through about an hour or so of bad rain, then it cleared and we stopped for fuel (both for the bike and for our tummies). A burger and a cup of unleaded later, we set off into quite a clear evening, only for the rain to start up again within 20 miles. It rained on and off for the rest of the way, but not nearly as hard as the first stint. Yorkshire rain is much harder than the southern stuff.

The last hour was ridden in darkness. Motorway biking is boring, but we did it as we wanted to get here quick. We have about an hour and a bit ride in the morning to the Chunnel at Folkestone, and then a short train-ride later we will be in France. Le yippee!

After a late night and a long ride yesterday, we only had about 6 hours sleep. We had to get up to get down to Folkestone for the train ride under the English Channel, and so the alarm was peeping way to early for humans. We got dressed, loaded up the Bandit, and went to tesco to get a couple of last minute things. Tesco also had a Costa Coffee, so we had a breakfast and coffee or peppermint tea as well.
We rode through sporadic drizzle for just over an hour, and got to the tunnel about 2 minutes before they called our train, following which we rode up various ramps, through sets of cones, down more ramps, and finally in to the train itself. This was my first crossing via the train, so it was rather unfamiliar to me. I have crossed to Calais and Rotterdam fairly often, and once even went on the ferry to Harwich, but have never been under the sea to the continent.

The loading was very well managed, and we ended up with another couple of bikers. The train ride was very smooth, and took about 35 minutes. Again, the dismount was very slick and ran smoothly, and there we were, lost in France. The satnav got a bit confused- maybe it is English at heart, and tried to take us back to Canterbury via the tunnel, but a bit of cursing and re-programming later, and we were on our way to our French journey.
When we planned this trip, we couldn’t decide between leisurely days and easy riding in the north and centre of France, or a battering down to the south coast. The cote d’azure won, so today was part of the price of that decision- over 300 miles of riding rather than taking the scenic route and bimbling through picturesque villages.
We stopped twice for fuel, a couple of times for wee’s, and had a nice salad at one of the services. We stuck to the motorway and paid a couple of tolls, and arrived around five thirty this evening in St Dizier at our hotel. Well, it is a restaurant with a couple of rooms above it, in a town that looks like it has seen better days. The buildings are lovely, but the people look like the kind who appear on daytime television screaming at their brother because he sleep with his girlfriends father. Never mind, we are warm, comfortable, enjoying a beer and very happy.
The restaurant looks interesting, so we are going to attempt a meal here, a bottle of French wine, and plan a glorious night of sleep.
Be good, mes ami.

We had a very nice meal in the hotel last night. We went for the meal of the day, and had three lovely courses, plus a great bottle of Bordeaux red. We sat at a table next to Klaus and Mitzi, and engaged in pleasant, if somewhat Germanic, conversation. The wine went down well, and soon we were ready for bed.
I discovered that my phone had died during the day. Not good, seeing as I had only received a brand new one the day we left. Buggeration. Anyone who needs me should email me, or contact me via Jelena.
After a decent nights sleep, we had a breakfast of croissant and coffee (the diet is out of the window for this trip), and then got our shit together. My bike gear was still a bit damp, but not too terrible. Load up went as planned, but satnav could not remember my route, so all the hours that I had spent planning and uploading the routes we for nought. It had kept the waypoints though, and upon calculating the days ride informed me that we were in for about six and a half hours of riding.
So, off we rode. South of St Dizier, things began to look prettier. We avoided motorways and toll roads, and rode through very pretty villages and scenery. Lots of sunflowers.
We passed through a town called Langres, which is in the south of the champagne region that we had been traversing. It is a fortified medieval city, and was really stunning to behold. Intact and massive walls around the citadel, great views and interesting looking buildings all added to the charm. I would like to go back and spend some time there.
We stopped at Dijon for a visit to the Carrefour supermarket to buy some lunch. We stocked up on sausage, salad and a beer, and then headed out again, stopping an hour later to enjoy the fruits of our shopping at a roadside picnic spot. As the afternoon wore on, we started to get glimpses of the Alps. We rode up some beautiful valleys, and the twists and curves started to make the riding more interesting too.
The French Alps are really lovely, and as we got nearer to them and climbed higher inland, we got some really good views. The clouds were quite heavy, and made for some impressive scenes. It hardly rained today, but it got cooler as we climbed higher toward the peaks.
We are staying tonight in the village of Moirans, just outside of Voiron in the central Alp region. The hotel is a metal container that was stolen from a ship and plonked on an industrial estate outside of town. Nice shower though, and the bed seems quite comfy. We went back to Voiron to getting our supper from the supermarket, got back quite late, and had a few tins of beer and our dinner. Tomorrow is exciting as we are not planning such a long ride, and we tackle the largest portion of the Route Napoleon. Google it.

So, we started the process. He filled out a form which all French have to fill in in case of accident, and I rang my insurers. His wife and daughter tried to help, but none of them spoke English, and no one else in the cafe did either. My insurers were very helpful, at least to start with, and took all my details, before passing me on the insuring company. They then said something along the lines of “our recovery will be back on Monday morning, please call us then”. As it was early afternoon on Saturday, I was not very impressed, so insisted that that get me their recovery company on the phone, and after much wait and listening to crap music, I was connected to the recovery people.
Apparently they don’t do this very often, so after taking my details again ( the third time on this one call that I had given every detail about me, my bike, my mothers parentage unto the third generation and so on, they said they would ring me back. And they did, about ten minutes later, to say “sorry, we thought your bike was in London, we only cover London recovery, you will have to ring your insurer”. Great.
The top box had been knocked off the bike, and contained my iPad, Lena’s laptop, and my iPhone, plus a whole bunch of other stuff. When it got knocked, the various bits inside got all shook up, and while my iPad and the laptop were fine, the iPhone, which was already unproductive as I had reset it and needed to hook it up to my laptop back home, got drenched in water from a bottle that cracked and leaked on it.
In the meanwhile, I rang my daughter, who has excellent French, and she translated between me and Hubert, the transgressor. We filled I the form together, did some great miming and sign language, and generally had a lot of fun. The couple who ran the cafe were lovely, tried to help, and the chef half of the couple spoke a bit of English. Anyway, the chap who damaged my bike gave me all his details, we shook hands and he left. I straightened my front forks, so the wheel looked alright, and took the bike for a ride on my own, to see how it handled. It seemed ok, and I tied the top box down tint with two bungie cords that I had with me, and the box seemed safe, so we decided we could continue.
I rang the insurer again to find out about help for those of us not in London, only to be told by the chap who answered ” it is after 1pm on Saturday, your insurer is closed til Monday, we can only take new claims, and can’t give you any information on you current claim. Have a nice day and thank you for calling Fukyu insurers”. So I was not going to get any help there then.
Anyway, we had a coffee, and set off. The bike handled fine, though the brake lever was snapped so at the first stop I put some tape on the remaining lever so it wouldn’t cut my glove. The top box, and Lena, seemed to be managing to stay in the back of the bike, so we kept going. The Route Napoleon just got better and better, and we ride along all the way to Gap through some stunning scenery, with roads that curved and cantered and made riding the bike an absolute pleasure.
At Gap we took a turn off the Route Nappy, and climbed a valley-side or two. The scenery was supplemented by some lakes with water that was so blue that it made your eyes hurt. We kept stopping to catch our breaths and exclaim at the beauty of the mountains and lakes and us.
The weather kept improving, and I took the linings out of my jacket and trousers, and was very warm and happy. We left the main roads with about 30kms left of our day, and started to climb up the Col du Allos. This is a climb up the Allos pass, which rises to a height of over 2000 meters. The road was narrow and cut out of the mountainside, and had sheer drops over the side of hundred of meters. It was impossible to see what was around the next bend, so. We had to ride very slowly. The pass was 25 Kms in length and it took ages to ride up to the very top of the alps, but it was just so worthwhile.

The views were indescribable. The drop at some stages was over a kilometer string down to the valley floor below. After an almost an hour of riding up the vertical wall, we reached the summit and started a drop down a series of hairpin switchbacks. By now it was very cool, and we were ready for a stop. A couple of Kms from the top we reached our destination, and though it took a bit of time to find our hotel, we loved the little holiday village that it is set in. Obviously a skiing resort in winter, there were a bunch of chalets, apartments and hotels, plus a few restaurants and ski shops, and nothing else. Our hotel was basic but nice, and our room has small balcony with views over a ski lift. Not that anyone is skiing today, but it is very pleasant. I was too tired to go scouting for eateries, so we had a carafe of vin rouge, some french cooked stuff, and ice cream for our supper right here in the hotel.
In all, a memorable eventful day. I definitely want to come back and spend time in these alps-what a beautiful part of the world. My only regret is that I did not discover this area years ago.

Look up its history, it is a very historic place in the alps, having been made a free royal city in 1542 by a grateful king, when it’s residents overthrew a pretender to the throne who had previously taken the town and slaughtered half the citizenry. A beautiful little town, walled and surrounded by a deep river crossing, it was very well fortified and you could easily see it’s strategic value and protection. We walked across the bridge, which was about 20 meters above the river, and into the old town. It was very hot by now, and we were really starting to enjoy the southern French weather.
The town itself was very typical of what you imagine it would have looked like hundred of years ago, with twisty streets, high narrow houses on either sides, and a few open areas plus a wider village square. We had lunch in a restaurant in the square. Rather incongruously, there was piped music throughout the town, playing dixieland jazz. It was very strange- it wasn’t just playing in the square, there were hidden speakers in various sectors, and Louis Armstrong and contemporaries kept one company wherever you went. It was rather bizarre actually.

Anyway, the place was really interesting, and we had a wander about after our food. Having taken a few more hundred pictures, we saddled up again and rode down the rest of the alpine ways, and eventually arrived in Nice, with its very very blue sea.
We are staying at a fab hotel, courtesy of my points gathered while living in a hotel in Oz last year. It is on the Promenade les Anglais, and our room overlooks the beach and town. We went to the roof top pool, but it was very full, so we went down to the sea and had a swim and a bit of tanning. Back for a shower, then had a lovely walk through Nice, which is a very pretty, but busy, city. Supper in an open square in the old market, then back to our hotel for the gift bottle of wine from the hotel, for being such special guests. Now we are about to go for breakfast on our way to the train to Monaco.